Thinking well is a state, not a skill

I remember lying awake night after night, staring at the ceiling, replaying conversations and decisions and deadlines. My body was tired, but my mind was wired. I was buzzing, looping, bracing.

During the day, I looked capable and composed.
At night, I was overwhelmed and overstimulated.

I kept thinking, if I could just get some space, I’d be able to think.

But when the space finally came (usually in the early hours of the morning) my brain wasn’t available. It was foggy, tense and running on adrenaline.

It took me a long time to realise the issue wasn’t time.
It was the state I was in.

You can’t think clearly when your nervous system is in survival mode.